i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
