Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
