i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
