Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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