i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
