this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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