My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
