just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
