just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
