I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
