Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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