So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
