So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
