At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
