i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
