let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
