I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm bleeding and have questions
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