Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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