he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
