best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
