You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
