I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
