I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize