I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
