dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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