I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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