it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
