Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's never too late to be topless.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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