I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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