Someone shit on the floor
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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