I don't think brook has ever known best
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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