that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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