I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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