How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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