I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
