I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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