I am in a vortex of obligation.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize