Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
is it fun? or sober?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
