I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have aggressive nipples.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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