so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
