That's intense
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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