did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
