I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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