one two three fourrrrnication!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
