I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm really into asian looking animals
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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