I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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