You work out of a Hotel?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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