these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
