The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
