You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
