some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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