I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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