Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
