What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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