It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
