a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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