After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
