maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
